Three high school virgins, suspended from school on a bogus graffiti charge, flee to the inner city in an attempt to live out the plot of The Catcher in the Rye - a book they neither have read nor understand. BINDLESTIFFS documents their struggles along the way as they surrender their virginities to vagrants, prostitutes, and crack fiends. Hot on their tail is Charlie, the deranged school security guard. Under the impression that the boys are planning a school shooting, he takes the law into his own hands to stop them and save America.

After drunkenly stumbling through a portal, an idiot finds himself lost in an abandoned beach town. Here, he poorly recounts his PAST, present, and future existences, each ending in the spontaneous combustion of planet Earth.