Sara Lidman writes about the longing for children and a man. As a red thread in her diaries and letters, there is doubt about being loved for who she is. She falls in love often. Especially in the love of her life - South Africa. He is black and she is allowed to pay a high prize for her love under the apartheid regime's rags, which closes around her until she finally has to leave South Africa.

A prolonged stay at his attractive and overbearing mother's home prompts Harald and his Karin to question their relationship, ultimately driving Karin into the arms of another woman.

Fia is 18 years old, pregnant and has just moved with her boyfriend to their first apartment in a suburb. Alone she tries to navigate the society of adulthood for the first time.