Overweight Bernie Fishbine meets Theresa Garabaldi at the neighborhood store, where he buys chocolate kisses every day. Theresa is in college and gets the idea to write about Bernie's weight problem for her thesis, convincing him to join a gym. Meanwhile, Bernie is falling in love with Theresa...

Arnold and his friends must recover a stolen document in order to prevent the neighborhood from being bulldozed.

A neurotic, twice-divorced sci-fi writer moves back in with his mother to solve his personal problems.

Howard Langston, a salesman for a mattress company, is constantly kept busy at his job, disappointing his son. After he misses his son's karate exposition, Howard vows to make it up to him by buying an action figure of his son's favorite television hero for Christmas. Unfortunately for Howard, it is Christmas Eve, and every store is sold out of Turbo Man. Now, Howard must travel all over town and compete with everybody else to find a Turbo Man action figure.

Young filmmakers trying to hawk a movie titled "Bradykillers" about a serial killer who goes after victims Marcia, Jan, and Cindy meet their screen idol, William Shatner. The two young men, who idolize him and in their fantasies have seen him as a shadowy fairy godfather figure, are alarmed at the reality of the middle-aged non-Captain Kirk man that they meet.