After the untimely death of her husband, shy Joan (a part-time cleaner) has to make money fast to keep from losing her home. She asks Fred, her sleazy boss, if she can work more hours - but instead, he takes on sexy air-head, Sharon and fires Joan. Now, she's forced to resort to extreme measures to avoid her home being repossessed. Aided by Sharon, and her two friends/former work-mates (65 year-old eccentric Enid, and desperate Mavis), Joan becomes the Madame of a do-it-yourself co-operative brothel... A brothel with no sex!

From a torturous cell in Africa, Abel Powell is released and given the chance to regroup his team of skilled mercenaries for one last job. A top scientist will guide them half a mile underground through an ex-Soviet bunker to extract the vital specimens and information being paid for by a mysterious backer, but what they seek should never have been found!