The film centers on nerd Maxwell Dweeb (Robert Carradine), who is a loner with no friends. While watching television, he sees an advertisement for the Minnie Mouse Center for the Totally Unhip, named after its owner, Minnie Mouse. Dweeb, in an effort to improve himself, decides to attend. After being welcomed by the director (Suzanne Somers), Dweeb is taken on a tour of the centre, where other Disney characters run various courses: Goofy is a fitness instructor, Donald Duck is a wardrobe manager, and Pluto is a messenger boy. After finally meeting Minnie Mouse, Dweeb is taken on by the director, whom he eventually falls in love with, and dates once he has passed his training. The film is intershot with various musical numbers (including the duet "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Minnie Mouse and Elton John) and excerpts from early Disney shorts.

When their money scam runs aground, a group of would-be thieves turn to kidnapping in an attempt to blackmail their target.

At a boarding house, a vicious dog gets loose from his chain and chews up a tenant's ass that was teasing him with a piece of raw meat. As a result, the dog is shot to death. Another tenant, a very high strung book editor, is picked on a lot. Soon he starts having dreams that the dog has returned and dead chewed up tenants begin popping up everywhere.

A radio host is victimised by the notorious cannibal family while a former Texas Marshal hunts them.