A patriotic but short American man tries without luck to qualify for the Army, but can't get in until a knock on the head raises a lump high enough for him to pass the height requirement. Meanwhile, his lady friend decides to become a Secret Service agent, though she is unable to keep the fact a secret, even from the German spies she hopes to apprehend.

Emily Ray, who works in a department store, is taken in by her wealthy Aunt Carmen. Emily falls in love with Oliver Browning, but her aunt dismisses him as a nobody and a fortune hunter. Emily's wealthy married cousin, Rosamonde Vallant, always trying to keep up with the latest fads, gives a party in honor of Professor Syle, a distinguished radical who lectures her guests in "parlor Bolshevism," then takes them to Greenwich Village to meet his comrades.