Gormless 25 year-old Cardew, wealthy beneficiary of the Robinson Will, should have left St. Fanny's School many years ago. However, seedy headmaster Dr. Jankers (music hall favourite Fred Emney) is in the toils of shady bookmaker Harry the Scar (boxer Freddie Mills) and has so-far kept his golden goose perched firmly at the bottom of the class. Blissfully unaware of nefarious intrigue around him, Cardew continues to flirt coyly with the French mistress and gamble for school dinners on the form room roulette wheel. But canny Scots solicitor McTavish has been sent to investigate... Featuring television's Billy Bunter, Gerald Campion, gorgeous Vera Day, Will Hay cohort Claude Hulbert, muddle-mouthed Stanley Unwin, a young Ronnie Corbett, and enough old jokes to fill a Christmas Cracker factory.

U.S. Embassy employee Lee Cochrane and his wife, Sue, receive a shock when they discover that their 18-month-old son, Simon, has disappeared in London. He was last seen with their nanny, and the couple seemingly have no leads that might help police Detective Craig in his investigation. The media sensationalizes the incident, causing an unnecessary distraction as the couple prepares to confront the culprit face-to-face.

Under a complicated bequest from her uncle, Myrtle stands to inherit $2,000,000 if her ex-husband doesn't have any male heirs on the way, else he gets the cash. She journies from New York to England, and finally tracks him down with his heavily pregnant new wife. Should she try and woo him back or challenge the legality of the new marriage?