Tom the Chauffeur's weekend isn't going to plan. His only task is to feed the wealthy widow's cat whilst she's away. Brilliant! This is his chance to impress his date Dolores by masquerading as the owner of the huge mansion. But they're interrupted by a burglar who manages to kidnap the cat and blackmail Tom into a Menage-a-Trois!

Taunted by visions of Mary Magdalene, who reveals the confessions of the younger nuns at the convent, the Mother Superior's mind is filled with the violent, sexual acts of her fellow sisters.

At a two-day business conference, God decides to romantically pair Terry, a moral crusader, with his "win-at-all-cost" antithesis, Mary. However, fate, assisted by unique and corrupt characters, attempt to beset God's arrangements.