Arrogant businessman Rupert Granger is used to getting everything he wants... everything except Alison. Rupert is determined to win her over, only Alison is not the kind who can be bought. He promises to change, but promises will not rescue him when a cancelled flight leaves him stranded at the airport in Spain. Now his only hope to win her back lies in Chas, an airline passenger stuck at the airport with him. Chas doesn't tolerate any nonsense, while Rupert complains about everything... but Chas is about to give Rupert the personality makeover of a lifetime, one to put Rupert Granger on the right track to winning Alison back.

Fed up with working hard just to scrape by, Christine Painter comes up with a bold plan to become the madam of a brothel and earn her financial freedom: she opens a house of spanking to fabulous reviews.

Having subdued the Goths, warrior Titus Andronicus returns to Rome to bury his sons, with Gothic Queen Tamora and her retinue as captives. The newly-dead Roman Emperor's two sons, Saturninus and Bassianus, are competing for their father's title. According to Roman custom, Titus sacrifices Tamora's eldest son to the Gods; having the deciding vote, he also chooses Saturninus as Emperor.

As they go by lorry to start their apprenticeship as Royal Naval Artificers, Pike and Brooks take a tacit dislike to one another. It's going to end in a fight.