On board a long distance spaceship returning to Earth, an alien lifeform has invaded. It feeds off of sexual energy and can clone itself to resemble the female crew members. Once on Earth the government's Alien Files force is called in to investigate the strange behavior of the crew members and to learn why the alien has come to Earth.

In a small populated town located in Cyphers County there's a quaint crew of newscasters at Action 13 News. Dalton Law (John Kasper), the beloved local weatherman, never missed a day of work or misguided his towns people to imperfect forecasts. Daltons days are predictable, down to his morning coffee and daily bathroom run-ins with anchorman Dan Anders (Mike Gavern). However, this particular day in Cyphers County is not so predictable. Dalton predicts an acid rain storm this evening but does not predict his unfortunate meeting of Holley Cooper (Dominique Capone), the new intern at Action 13 News. Holley, unbeknownst to the news station crew, is a recovering psychopath on her way to becoming a lead weatherman, or should we say "weatherwoman".

Newlyweds spend the night at a haunted mansion, having had car trouble. When the wife disappears, the husband's rich father sends a team of parapsychologists to get the wife back. Except for the leader, each of the team has a special power... Dr. Donna Hemming is a telekinetic, Anthony Leeds can see things by touching objects, and Heather Siris is sexually irresistible to both the dead and the living. They soon discover a Civil War general has made a pact with the devil, if he can only find a virgin for the devil to procreate with.

Five bored, occasionally high and always ineffective Vermont state troopers must prove their worth to the governor or lose their jobs. After stumbling on a drug ring, they plan to make a bust, but a rival police force is out to steal the glory.