A sleazeball (Ronald Long) who supplies women to his public-relations clients explains the rules of the game to his latest acquisition (Jeanne Rainer).

It's silliness on the high seas as two sneaky sailors race across the South Pacific in this fast-paced and campy comedy. The fun begins when one bets the other $20,000 that he, with an all girl crew, be the first to Tahiti in a sailboat race. The other, not to be outdone, has a few monkeyshines up his sleeve and actually wins the race. The beaten bettor then makes the claim, that he can beat the victor to the mainland using a crew comprised of baboons. That is too much to resist for the other and the race is on.

Wealthy landowner Dr. Earl Denton buys a premium development with the intention of leaving it to his daughter, Joan. When Joan gets impregnated by her mechanic boyfriend, she tries to convince her father to help her get an abortion, despite the protestations of her boyfriend.

A by-the-book Captain is ordered to capture a strategic village in Italy. The Italian soldiers are willing to surrender, if they can have a festival first. The lieutenant convinces the Captain this is the only way. Because of aerial reconnaissance, they must look like they are fighting. To sort this out an intelligence officer is sent in. Meanwhile the festival gets complicated with the Mayors daughter.