In this parody of Grand Hotel, despite a dying man's efforts to enjoy his final days, a jewel thief trying to comfort a great dancer, and a big business deal in progress, there are still those who say that "nothing ever happens here."

It's love at first sight for singer John Craddock and Jane Blodgett who meet while John is seeking a radio job with the "Blodgett Dog Biscuit Hour," and John learns that the sponsor is Jane's father, Warren Blodgett, an avid souvenir and antiques collector. John gets himself in bad with Blodgett when he accidentally ruins a deal in which Blodgett was attempting to acquire a bedpost for his collection. To break up the romance, Blodgett and his wife take Jane to Switzerland, where Blodgett has his heart set on obtaining a jealously-guarded cowbell.