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Artie and Diane agree to look after their three grandkids when their type-A helicopter parents need to leave town for work. Problems arise when the kids' 21st-century behavior collides with Artie and Diane's old-school methods.

Left on the doorstep of an orphanage run by nuns, three newborn knuckleheads grow up to be finger-poking, nyuk-nyuking janitors named Larry, Curly and Moe. When they learn that financial problems will soon force the only home they've ever known to close, the trio sets out to raise $830,000 in one month. Out in the world for the very first time, the three innocent bumblers become embroiled in a murder plot and find stardom on a TV reality show.

The rumored daughter of Sarah Good, the first witch to be tried and hung during the Salem Witch trials, lives and commands the spirit world at her fingertips. Irene, as she is known, must sacrifice the lives of a small group of youths every 30 years for preserving her own youthful appearance, powers and prosperity. On this day, Irene sets the bait for Dalton, an unassuming young man looking for closure in his brother's accidental death. She promises Dalton the allure of reconnecting with his deceased sibling while suggesting he bring his friends along for the show. Sam, Dalton's closest friend, ignores the warning signs, tags along for the ride and finds herself the only person left alive after a night of gruesome events.