A beautiful Russian spy seduces an Austrian military officer in order to obtain secret plans. When she falls in love with him, both are placed in danger.

An acclaimed actor and his equally acclaimed actress wife, who have been married for less than a year, are already showing signs of strain in their marriage. The actor believes his wife is capable of infidelity and sets out to prove this is so. Disguising himself as the kind of man he believes she fancies (a Russian military officer), the actor woos his wife while she believes her husband to be out of town.

Young, vivacious Billie uses her charms on influential businessman Glenn Abbott in hopes of getting her secret fiancé Gil a diplomatic appointment. Meanwhile, Gil's affections meander to beautiful ingenue Kentucky, Billie's best friend.

Charley is an efficiency expert trying to teach a millionaire's daughter the value of money.

A song plugger is stranded in a small town. There he meets a girl who later helps him to put on a show on Broadway.

In Russia in the early 1900s, Fedya, a handsome, self-indulgent womanizer, falls in love with and marries Lisa, his friend Victor's fiancée. Fedya quickly tires of domestic life and resumes his profligate ways, drinking and gambling away his family's fortune. Lisa refuses to leave him despite his deplorable ways, so he takes drastic measures to ensure that she will no longer be harmed by his actions and reputation.

A British estate agent travels to Transylvania to meet the mysterious Count Dracula, who is interested in leasing a London castle. After Dracula enslaves the agent and drives him to insanity, the pair return to London together, where Dracula, a secret bloodsucker, begins preying on socialites.

Crad Hobbs, a Virginia waterman, is depressed over the decline in the shellfish trade and the gradual erosion of his former home, a barrier island off Virginia's Eastern Shore. Worse, his beautiful daughter and only child is engaged to a returning World War II veteran who forsakes the oystering trade to take a job with the local newspaper. The cub reporter's first job is interview a New York banker, and former resident, who has secretly come to the Eastern Shore to provide a loan for a beleaguered Latin-American president whose country is battling communist insurgents. Hobbs blames the banker for his home island's destruction; he believes if the banker had approved a loan for a system of breakwaters, the erosion, and resulting loss of fishing habitat, could have been prevented.

A coquettish socialite falls for a straight-laced associate in her father's law firm. But she must also fend off the advances of a greedy fortune-hunter and his sister.

In this parody of Grand Hotel, despite a dying man's efforts to enjoy his final days, a jewel thief trying to comfort a great dancer, and a big business deal in progress, there are still those who say that "nothing ever happens here."