In her debut and only starring vehicle, Philomena plays the title role, Miss Melody Jones. She's an actress with (clearly) a lot of talent, but she's maybe a bit naive. After some bumps on the road to stardom, she meets college boy Tim, who casts her as the lead in his student film. But Melody's desire for instant fame clashes with Tim's unwillingness to sell out and make biker flicks.

A trio of hunters in the Louisiana bayous capture a monster called the Swamp Thing. They take it to New Orleans where (naturally) they display it in a strip joint. When the monster's favorite stripper gets into a fight with another stripper, he breaks loose and starts killing.

A nerdy virgin who spends most of his waking hours dreaming about big-busted, naked women gets a job catering at a film festival party that is chock full of his "dream girls". Unfortunately, he finds himself involved in a Mafia jewel-smuggling plot and must impersonate a Mafia don who he has inadvertently caused to die of a heart attack.