A young man named Mike starts receiving messages from a shy, seemingly innocent young woman named Carli. She likes to play dress up, often dressing up as her favorite animal: a cat. She lives with a nice Mormon family, and is well-liked by those who know her. Only Mike knows her true secret, and he is in terrible danger. But who would believe him?

A dwarf named Ed falls in love with a big woman named Linda. He cuts her open and climbs into her womb to be "born again."

A vampire, a nihilist, and a murderous dwarf with super powers, come together, aided by the powers of a young woman's magical penis, to fulfill an ancient prophecy and battle an ancient demon.