Three retired sea captains living together in genteel squalor. They scheme to improve their fortunes by having one of them solicit a bride through an ad in a Boston newspaper. The loser of a coin toss must get married and take in the other two as boarders. But upon the arrival of the Nantucket woman selected from the applicants, the captains get cold feet.

Set in a world where the concept of lying doesn't exist, a loser changes his lot when he invents lying and uses it to get ahead.

After his parents die leaving him and his siblings to fend for themselves, Michael learns of an underground fight club where he can make money. Despite warnings, Michael remains unaware of what's at stake and is lured in by the promise of fortune.

Adult film star Jennifer Bond has everything a girl could want: looks, power, a fabulously dangerously sexy boyfriend…and immortality due to the fact she was transformed into a vampire circa 1979. But as her 50th birthday draws near, she returns to the town she left in search of the love of her life, the aging porn director John Welles. Unfortunately, one of her travelling companions and former co-star takes a shine to one of their midnight snacks, a pizza delivery boy, and she creates a new vampire with a taste for bloody revenge! As the four ex-porn stars ravage the town as part of their nightly fun, the pizza boy hooks up with the beleaguered mayor and the Moral Majority to stomp out the dangerously porn star-vampire menace.