What’s more embarrassing than writing erotic fiction about your crush? Writing erotic fiction about your crush and then accidentally texting it to her. When this very thing happens to Nousha, she enlists the help of her best friend, Oliver, and they set out on a mission to delete the text. By any means necessary.

Bailey and Amanda, a lesbian couple, are determined to have a baby and have created the perfect list of sperm donors, ranked by their ideal characteristics. However, every potential donor they select meets an untimely and bizarre death—falling tree branches, fatal spin classes, art installations gone wrong, and even skydiving accidents. Their "celebrity stretch goal" also meets a gruesome fate. As the deaths mount, Bailey and Amanda begin to wonder if their bad luck is just a coincidence, a curse, or something more sinister at play.